According to one study, around half of all divorced women and about one-third of divorced men were still angry at their ex-spouses 10 years after the divorce. This anger may fuel conflict between divorced parents in Illinois, but it is important that parents do not allow that anger to override the best interests of their children.
For example, if the custodial parent decides to move to be closer to a new partner, the other parent could feel burdened by the extra commuting time. The child might feel isolated in a new community. While the parent who did not move might be tempted to simply refuse to cooperate with transportation and other changes, this approach ultimately hurts the child the most.
In co-parenting after a divorce, it is critical that parents focus on raising a well-adjusted child and setting aside their personal feelings about each other and perhaps even the other parent’s partner. If parents cannot work out a compromise that allows them to deal with the move, they might want to go through mediation. A mediator can help parents come up with a transportation plan and deal with issues such as how to help the child integrate into the new community.
Child custody may be one of the more contentious areas dealt with in a divorce because it is such an emotional one. Once an agreement has been reached, when a change such as a move comes along, parents may struggle to adjust yet again. However, if parents are able to solve their disagreements constructively, the period after the divorce may be less difficult for the child. Parents might use mediation to work through their conflicts around custody and other issues during and after the divorce.