A recent Internet poll of the children of divorce revealed some interesting findings about the age-old practice of “staying together for the kids.” Illinois parents may recognize the adage as having to do with avoiding the trauma of a divorce by simply staying in a marriage that may — or may not — be working. When the grown children of separated parents spoke out, however, the response was overwhelming that staying in a failing marriage to save on heartache for the children may not have been the best decision.

Many people mentioned that living through arguments brought on by a failing relationship was actually more stressful than the divorce itself turned out to be. Spending time separately with parents following a divorce was, for many people, preferable to living in a hostile environment, even if the hostility was not directed at them. Unhappy parents also had a harder time keeping those negative feelings to themselves, resulting in an unpleasant atmosphere at home.

Others said that their parents’ attempts to act as though everything was “fine” did not work. Even as children, some said, they picked up on the fact that something was wrong. Also, depending on the age of the children when the divorce occurred, the effects were said to have been less detrimental than extending a rocky relationship into a child’s later childhood or adolescence.

There is no one right way to deal with a relationship that is struggling. Any Illinois family that has experienced a divorce situation can tell you that children are almost always a priority in a split. Doing what is best for one’s family can be a complicated process, and both spouses may benefit from a full understanding of divorce and child custody laws in their state.

Source: The Huffington Post, 5 Reasons Kids From Unhappy Homes Say It’s Better To Divorce Than Stay Married, Brittany Wong, Jan. 27, 2014