When a child’s parents undergo a separation, it is almost guaranteed to be difficult for the child to accept. Illinois parents going through a divorce understand that a child’s emotions may be delicate during the process. It can be beneficial, therefore, to employ specific tactics in helping a child come to terms with a separation, up to and including the potential for external assistance for children and parents alike.

A very common response for children to have in the case of a divorce is the belief that it is somehow their “fault”. Of course this is not the case, so it can be helpful to remind a child of this fact in order to mitigate lingering guilt, as well as monitoring day-to-day emotional states to keep on top of how they’re feeling. As with most elements of a separation, these tactics work best when parents function as a unit, even if they are no longer a couple.

Communication, according to many experts, is vital in easing a child through the divorce process. However, it is important to mitigate the kind of information made available to the child: while it can be beneficial to keep them “in the loop”, speaking ill of a spouse (their other parent) can be detrimental. It can be very helpful to deal with child custody issues first and foremost to ensure smooth lines of communication between former spouses and make the transition easier on children.

It is reasonable to assume that Illinois parents facing divorce still want the best for their children. This may require support beyond what a couple can provide. It may benefit some families to seek additional support in the form of counseling for children, and of course a swift and amicable end to a separation will set everyone on the path to healing that much more quickly. Seeking support to ensure a divorce is handled as effectively as possible will go a long way toward helping your children readjust.

Source: The Southern, “Diary of a child of divorce,” Stephanie Duckworth, May 14, 2013