Illinois parents who have gone through a divorce are aware of the constant demands of single-parenting and working with the other parent to manage their children’s schedule. Many divorced spouses may have mistakenly believed that after the separation they could be free of the other person. Unfortunately, once children are involved, parents are required to deal with each other on a regular basis because of child custody concerns, making it even more important for parents to attempt to work through their emotional responses to the separation and co-exist peacefully for the children.
One of the most important things to realize is that anger towards the other person affects the entire household. When anger and hostility are shown to the other parent, the children often bear the brunt of the bad relationship and can feel torn between their parents. Setting aside certain behaviors can help divorced parents work together for the sake of their children.
Mothers often feel they know what is best for their children and this can intrude on the quality time they spend with their father. Feeling like this can often lead a mother to attempt to control what goes on in the other parent’s home. Frequent phone calls, giving the father excessive instructions and even interrogating the children when they arrive home can become extremely intrusive and can even hurt the parent-child relationship.
Withholding child support is another key problem for divorced parents attempting to navigate the sometimes rocky world of child custody. Many people resent paying child support because they may believe the money provided is not given to the children. While this is occasionally true, most of the time the child support is used to take care of the children’s needs. While there are legitimate reasons to have a child support order modified, withholding money can bring stress to both the parent and child.
Child custody in Illinois can be a delicate balancing act that requires both parents to play a carefully balanced role. Attempting to work can help both parents and children adjust to the new family structure. Working together for the best interest of the child can ultimately make everyone feel better and can help reduce tension and stress when dealing with the other party.
Source: Huffington Post, “You May Be Divorced, But You’re Still a Family,” Virginia Gilbert, Aug. 3, 2012